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ALL HOSTS, PLEASE READ AT THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF EVERY HOUR

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They’re back! After a long winter break, following the San Bernardino cliff hanger(Will they rationally discuss communities awash in guns, or won’t they? Stay tuned) that left us all on the edge of our seats.

How can they top last season? Well, tune in to see all the characters you know and love; traumatized school kids, kneeling office shooting survivors frisked by police, that wacky clueless neighbor, “He was always so quiet. I had know idea that he had all those guns,” and of course, Grump ole Mister NRA, “Don’t blame guns,” and “Only a good guy in a Starbucks with a gun can stop a bad guy with dark skin carrying a gun!” And don’t forget, crazy Mr. Rightwing radio guy!

Lock and load. This season could be the best ever. Who knows, maybe even you and a loved one could guest star in all the mayhem. Toe tags, party of 7! Guest starring, that classic duet of Smith and Wesson, The Rugers, Browning, The Bushmaster Family, The Glocks and the always popular Ceska Zbrojavka, and many, many more! Talk about full metal jacket. This one is overloaded!

Bang! Bang! Don’t go to bed, with no price on your head. Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time,  Yeah, don’t do it.

The bodies are piling up and so is America’s favorite reality TV show. We’ve go it all, jilted lovers, anti-abortion zealots, disgruntled workers, wacky ISIS followers and crazy Christian white supremacists. You never know where we’ll show up, in the mall, at church, in school or at the beach. Nobody does mass shootings like Americans.

Mass Shootings in America, the new season, coming to a crime scene and cable news channel near you, and maybe even starring you!

ALL HOSTS: PLAY OUT WITH BARETTA TV SHOW THEME, 15 SECONDS.

 

 

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