Like many on the Left, I was stunned by the election results. The end of days, you say? I for one have decided to embrace the new President Elect Putin, sorry, I mean Trump. In fact, look on the bright side and you’ll see the benefits of a Trump presidency.

For one, no war with Russia. In fact, with all of the help Trump got from Putin, one might say they are partners, or one of them is indebted to the other. So that’s good.

The wife and I will be okay. First of all, we are white. And second, we have three cats and a dog, so we’ll have something to eat next winter. Cuddly and warm? How about crisy and barbequed!

One bright spot, quite sincerely, are all of the sweatshop jobs overseas will finally come home. No longer will American workers be shut out at home of jobs stolen by foreigners and Illegal Mexicans, like busboy, lawn care, nanny and Sbarro counter jobs.

And time! Imagine the time you now waste on managing your 401k going to other survival-oriented pursuits, like dumpster digging, living with all of your aging relations or watching them starve, or daydreaming about the house you once lived in(now your car-if its paid for).

All those job killing regulations Donald’s corporate friends told him to get rid of, such as lunches, child labor (Newt Gingrich-part of the administration-once advocated for 12 year olds in the workforce. At least those 12 year olds won’t be illegal!), profit-stifling safe working conditions and more.

Trump’s administration will be chock full of CEOs, like the ones at your job who have been so interested in your well being, well as long as you produce like a mule.

Finally, we can say goodbye to those anti-American, commie unions. So now when you step onto that elevator, know it wasn’t fixed by a certified union electrician, but a Bulgarian guy with a penchant for goats. But he works cheap, and that’s great for the economy!

And last, for me, no more dragging all my recyclables to the recycling center everyday. My contribution to the environment is meaningless now that we have a man and team who openly deny climate change, and who will roll back environmental laws and green energy technology.

In summary, this is what America will reap in benefits from a Trump presidency: NATO…COLLAPSED! Russia…GREAT AGAIN! Personal tax deductions…GONE! Home deduction…GONE Social Security…CUT! Single parents…HIGHER TAXES! Decent paying jobs…TOAST! Clean air…GONE with the EPA! Standing at the bow of the American Titanic LMFAO????? PRICELESS!!!!

 

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